Thursday, June 5, 2014

Our new journey....and it sucks!

It's scary to think that new little habits you acquire, and don't think anything about, could very well be warning signs, of something bigger. Something that can be halted in its tracks. But you don't know any better. You think its nothing and go on with your life.

This is what has happened to my husband. A few new little habits, that I kept getting bothered by. Asking him why he was doing it. And him thinking I was just trying to find something to complain about. we are about 5 yrs later and he's been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

Its only been a week now and we are currently waiting for medicine. Eagerly awaiting. His symptoms are just getting worse. It s really hard to sit back and feel like you need to watch every step your husband makes, as if he's a toddler learning how to walk.

He has barely any movement in his left leg - it just drags. No pain....its just not working. This is now causing some balance issues. I saw this quote the other day and thought I might need to use it some day. Well, today is that day.

My husband ran into the wall a few times yesterday. But in his normal fashion...he made it look like he did it on purpose and laughed about it.Then I proceeded to stick my foot in my mouth and says "Ugh, can you stop doing that?"  NO, he can't stop doing that. No matter how hard he tries to play it off as a joke, its happening, and its out of his control.

Now, my husband doesn't voice his own feelings and fears.....EVER, so I have to read into him.... A LOT. And the way he has been coping with this lately is by making jokes. I am glad he can do that, but it kills me to think what he is really feeling inside. I am hoping that he will see how I AM here to support him and he will realize he CAN talk to me & ask me for help.

 So, I might be posting some blogs on here to voice feeling I THINK he might be having and to voice my own thoughts, feelings and fears as well.

I hope you all understand that I might just need to vent sometimes.