Thursday, July 7, 2016

Supporting my husband with MS ... or enabling him?


With my new job, has come some new changes in our family dynamic. I am home less and my husband is home more. However, I feel as though I am doing more then I did before. And it might just be that I am doing the same amount of chores, just in a smaller amount of time. And this frustration leads me to look at my husband and what HE is doing, while he is home all day.

First off, I want to precede with advising you all I am not blaming him or complaining. I would like to simply educate others in my same boat, and others with a diagnosis of MS....the family supporters you live with and care takers. Its a whole new life change for them as well. 

Below I will just show you how MY thought process goes, on a dialy basis. Its a mental and emotional things for us as well.

"I work all day, the kids are NOT in school, but he can sit there and not lift a finger all day?  Maybe he is having a bad day. I will just shut up, get the kids to help, and get this done myself so he doesn't have to think I am upset about it. Its not his fault."

The next day...


"I work all day, the kids are NOT in school, but he can sit there and not lift a finger all day? I let it go yesterday so he could relax. He hasn't gone out in the heat or exerted himself. WHAT is he doing all day? I don't fully understand, so I'll just  get this done myself so he doesn't have to think I am upset about it. Its not his fault."

Day 3...

" "I work all day, the kids are NOT in school, but he can sit there and not lift a finger all day? I let it go yesterday for a 2nd time. By now I am SURE he can muster up the energy to get SOMETHING done. A load of dishes can't possibly wear you out THAT bad. WTF?!?!  Why should I have to do it ALL?"

A little under my breath complaining, and then he gets up like he knows he is wrong and helps a little until I calm down....

"He obviously can tell its not fair to me that he can't help as much anymore. Is it fair to me to get mad? How do I know he isn't just milking this to get days of doing nothing? I can't do that even when I am sick.  I know I should just shut up and assume he is not having a good day every day, and eventually I will get used to it....like I'm a single mom. But if I just do everything for him, is that enableing him? Shouldn't I make him keep himself mobile and force him to learn new tricks at how to live with MS?"

After a small converstaion of letting him know that I think he is getting worse and he says he feels better? WHAT????  He admits that its the depression and he's going to try to force himself out of it.

"Here we go, I don't understand the physical aspect of depression. I know that he has a reason to be depressed. He needs his meds, although he thinks he doesn't. Do I know better than him in this case, as I have to live with the outcome of his moods?  Is it fair for me to judge him? Its not his fault. But I can't just let him mope around and not do anything. That will make his depression worse and will make his physical capabilities worse, which will make the MS worse."

As a caregiver or loved one living with someone with Multiple Sclerosis, its a constant battle for us too. We want to help, but also don't want the person to feel as though they are useless.
Its a constant fine line of learning what we need to push them on, and when we need to back off.

Please, talk to your spouse, loved one, or caregiver. Let them know how you feel, what you need from them, how they can help you. Don't forget that its a learning process for you BOTH.







Monday, July 4, 2016

Updates & new things happening

Hey all!!!

First off I wanna say Happy 4th of July!!! I know you might be wondering why I am blogging on a holiday? Well, we celebrated the last 2 days, so we are kinda of taking today off. Just gonna do the fireworks thing...if the rain hold out.

But I also had time to finally update you all. The Etsy shop has added a new item. I have added a few new social media outlets. And, yes I have been absent, but that's mostly because I got a new job, and the hubby hasn't been pretty good, so I've been doing a lot of house stuff as soon as I get done work.

New item in the Etsy shop are ribbon hair ties.  They can be customized, for orders of at least 2 or more. Ones that are posted, are ready for immediate sale/shipping. My daughters love wearing bows in their hair so..I thought, why not? I have done some hair bow holders int he past, and plan to do a few more in the upcoming months as well. Again, they will be able to be customized as well.




Along with the ribbons, we are now doing canvas art again. Below are a couple of canvas pieces we've done. The fish one, is for immediate sale. Again, customized requests are welcomed.


Along with new shop items, there is currently a Christmas in July sale going on my FB page and Etsy shop. I really need to get rid of some of my Christmas stock, to make room for this upcoming Fall/Winter season.
To help promote the shop and anything else that pops up I have also joined the Twitter world!! And I have finally joined Snapchat as well. the snapchat thing I am using as a daily vlog type outlet. I would like to start vlogging someday, but feel a little nervous. So thought I'd try it on Snapchat first to see what response I get.
I really hope you decide to join me in my journey. All links for all social media are below. Thank you for stopping by!

Facebook craft page - https://www.facebook.com/3ladybugcrafts/
Etsy Shop -- https://www.etsy.com/shop/3LadybugCrafts
Google+ -- https://plus.google.com/u/0/104635149469701589958/posts
Instagram,Twitter & Snapchat ---  @hjsmoons





Sunday, June 5, 2016

Baked Zuccini chips



Hey all!

I am finally back with a recipe blog post - yay!!

I've seen a few of these going around, and they looked so good I wanted to try. But I put my own little twist on it.  I have to say, I was surprised at how crispy & crunchy they actually were.

Ingredients:
-1 zucchini ( a good sized one makes a lot)
-2 eggs
- 3/4 cup of Italian salad dressing
- 1 cup of Bread crumbs (I don't suggest using Panko for this)
-1/4 cup of Parmesan cheese (can add more if you'd like)
- Season All salt (can use regular salt)
Feel free to add any other seasonings you might want. I actually wanted to add onion powder but forgot.

Directions:

1 - slice zuccini into thin slices
2 - Wisk the eggs and italian dressing

3 - Combine bread crumbs, parmesean cheese and salt

4 - Toss ziccini slices in the egg wash

5 - bread all of the slices and place on a non stick cooking sheet. if your cooking/baking sheet is not so non stick, use some cooking spray on it.

6 - bake at 400 degrees for about 15 to 20 minutes.




And, they are kid approved!!!



Thursday, June 2, 2016

Why do women have to have a BFF?



Forewarning:  I know that some of you will read this and just think that I am a miserable bitch and have no real friends. However, that is not the case. I have always felt like this. And yes, maybe some instances from my teen years have caused me feeling this way, but I feel its just a logical way to see this.

WHY do women feel the need to call each other BFF?? I just don't get it. Does it validate your feelings that you have a close friend out there that you can go to anytime you need a shoulder to lean on?

I have only a handful of friends. And this is my choice. I don't needs tons of people in and out of my life. Its bad enough, my close friends are sometimes in and out of my life. But that is called LIFE!!! People grow up, and move on. The more you realize this, the less you will feel like you've been "screwed over by who you thought was your best friend".

Think about it. How many "best friends" have you had in your lifetime? How many of them are no longer in your adult life? The term BFF should be left in high school (sorry not sorry).

A real friend is not categorized by someone who is up your ass daily.
A real friend is not someone who offers you money or is always trying to do things for you.
A real friend is not always the person in all those selfies you take together. 


A real friend will be there if you call them crying and say they really just want to talk.
A real friend will be there to help you move, when you finally realize that guy she warned you about really is a loser.
A real friend will help you pick up the pieces, if you have fallen apart.

A real friend will be that bitch who told you the TRUTH, whether you like it or not.

I have seen many friendships fade, and have realized one thing. There is usually one party who EXPECTS things to be a certain way, and when they don't pan out like that, they blame the other party. This is not fair. Don't expect a person to be a certain way towards you. If you truly love them, you will appreciate what they can offer, WHEN and HOW they offer it.

As a friend, if you need to vent to me, call me & I'll be there to listen. But I am not a mind reader.
As a friend, if you can't catch up and need a boost or help, call me & I'll be there. But I am not a mind reader.
As a friend, if you feel the need to reveal a deep secret, call me & I'll help you work through it and keep it to myself. But I am not a mind reader.

I strongly feel that calling someone a BFF is validation that you feel loved. I don't need that validation from anyone outside of my own family. What my husband and kids think of me, is all that matters, and all that should matter.

In conclusion, I don't have any BFFs and I don't want any. All I want is my circle of friends who I know I can rely on when I call on them. If I don't call on them, I don't expect anything from them in return. The only thing I do expect, is respect.

So can we please just stop with the BFF title and just call them our TRUE FRIENDS?!



Wednesday, May 11, 2016

What do you do?




I'm in limbo with my morals and responsibilities. I don't know what to do or how to handle it.
I'm not liking my new job.

It may just be that I am used to big corporate ways. I have been programmed like a robot maybe? If so, its odd that it seems I like it that way.  Ive been trained that this is how you accept your work/orders, this ish ow you process it, this is how you close you it, this is how you notate things. No veering off track. If its not "your" job, don't do it.

Now I am at this smaller company, where there is no process. There are no rules in place of how things should be done. I am having to figure everything out as I go.
A coworker asked me the other day how I receive my orders. I said I don't...people just email me and tell me what to do. I've been given no real "process".

I was not told that this is how I will receive orders, this is what they will look like, this is what this means and we do things, and from this point on, its YOUR responsibility. the only thing that was fully handed over to me, is stuff that I have never done before. OK, its billing....I do billing for my home life, so I can figure it out. But that's not my background. I have never been in accounting.

I have offered suggestions on how to make things a little more streamline and offered to take things as my own, so others can take some pressure off themselves. I mean, isn't that why I was hired?

I am vaguely being taught how things are done and what the processes are. It's a very "wing it" environment. A lot of times, I feel as though I am simply just others personal secretaries.....someone to send emails for them. I copy and paste a lot.

 I don't feel as comfortable as I think I should. I often wonder why I was hired.

The drive home, although its not as bad as others have it, its very tedious and stressful to me. A lot of sitting and waiting in traffic. My car never gets above 25 mph.  By the time I get home, I want to do nothing, although there is tons that still need to be done, because I am not home all day anymore.

I often have off feelings in the beginning of jobs. But my last job, was exactly my field, doing what I knew, and I didn't need to be trained. So basically, I have been doing the same thing for all these years. I took this job with the hopes that I could learn different aspects of the business, but I am not learning anything behind the information I am pushing around. So I am trying to help keep things organized....which is not going well. Each time I try, I am basically told they don't want to do it that way.

My husband is in process of applying for disability. He's has to cut his working hours to 10 hrs a week. Mainly, its just to get him out of the house, I think. So all financials are on me. I can't just quit this job...we would be screwed.   And for now, I need to ensure I have a job where I can work from home as needed. And this job has that flexibility.

I guess only time will tell what happens. Maybe things will change at the job so I can shine. Or maybe another job will come along that will allow me to shine.

"Just keep swimminng...."



Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Life update, Spring 2016

Hey all!!

I knowwwwww, I'm sorrrryyyyyy.  Stupid me had to go and get a job. Ha Ha

So yeah, I work in an office again. I do have freedom to work from home as needed, or part time eventually, so that will work out great.

However, in the meantime, with the timing of everything, me and my husband (who if you follow know has MS), do not have insurance until 2017. If it were just me, I wouldn't care, but its him too.
Basically, in January I applied for me and the girls to get state medicaid. My husband had coverage through work still. Then he was dropped in February. So, at this point, I call the state to get him added to the application as well, which extended the process out again.
A few weeks later, I got a job. However, after starting I find out they only really cover ME for insurance, and to add him it would be an outrageous amount of money that would make us go for broke.  So I called the Marketpace to see how that all works. They gave me a quote and suggested that I try to see if the state will cover us, and if not, then to call them back. Great!!

April 1st, the state calls to tell me that the kids were accepted and will be covered, but me and my husband don't. We'll have to try the marketplace. Soooo.....I call the marketplace a few days later....well since Brian lost his coverage as of Feb. 1st, and  its now 64 days later (limit is 60 days), we cant get coverage.

Call the state back....they say that even with my unemployment info, we made too much money and now I have a job so we most likely will NOT be accepted still. They did tell us that the letter they sent telling us we were not accepted, was dated 3/31/16, so maybe we can try to fight it.

So that is what is on my plate for today. And...I need to get dental insurance for us both too in the meantime as well. WTF.....and to top it all off, we have to pay fines at tax time for this shit...even though its the government who wont allow us to sign up for anything.
Pick one...either I have insurance and cant pay my bills, or I have no insurance, and keep a roof over my head. Hmmmmm.....?????

Anyway, crafting is back in session. only about 1 craft per week. And not a lot of ready to sell items, as I am stock piling too much, because no one wants to buy from me, boooo.

But here are a few items i made for my girls, and already have a ready to sell one, with a fish theme, in progress. I will continue to post as there are more items.

Until next time....






Thursday, March 10, 2016

Unsold Wreaths


Hey all!

As I was going through some of my stock I realized that I still have a lot. I have fall wreaths and winter wreaths still available. Even a few summer ones from last year that would be great for THIS time of year.
Therefore, this post if going to be a showcase of sorts, to show you all, what is still available. If anyone is interested in any of the items you see, please feel free to message me, or visit our FB shop and message me there. 
Prices are not firm, so feel free to make an offer.
Pass the word to your friends and family as well.
Thank you!


Summer/Fall wreaths:


 Black chevron ribbon, accented with red and purple flowers.






 Orange handmade felt rosettes. The Halloween ribbon is not attached and can be changed. Although, that is the ribbon on the reverse side of wreath, but who will see that other side. This could be great all throughout the fall months.

Fall leaf patterned ribbon with gold accents throughout it. Embellishments of fall leaves, marigolds, and berries.

 Christmas/Valentine's Wreaths:

 Silky white ribbon, accented with poinsettias and a glittery red deer.
 Greens wreath base, with red white and green deco mesh ribbon and glittery red Christmas balls.
Goldish brown decor mesh embellished with gold, red and white ribbon, gold Christmas balls, and a glittery red deer.



 Over 200 handmade felt rosettes.


 If you are not in the market for a discounted, out of season wreath and are really interested in something for the NOW season, stop on by our shop and see what's new for Spring/Summer.

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Or search #3Ladybugcrafts on Instagram