Guilty thoughts

Hubby went back to work this week. And since its been really hot this week, he has been coming home exhausted, as expected. He lays around for a while. Tried to play with the kids. But then its rest time again. Then he will wake up and do a load of dishes. Rest time again.

I have been trying to keep up with housework, in the mornings, before I have to log on for work. But then what happens is that I am ready for a nap, as I need to start working.


SIGH

Then I feel guilty for feeling like this. I sometimes still want to yell at him to clean up his stuff. Then other times I feel like I am not allowed to say a damn word. Where is the happy medium?


He can barely walk and when he does, he has no balance & walks into things. So it takes extra effort to walk at all, for him. Who am I to expect him to walk to the kitchen and put a dish in the sink?

He can push himself at work, but can't put his stuff away at home?

Normally I would be huffing and puffing and pissily telling him how it is. Instead now I just sit back, and do it myself. 

Let him sleep Heather - I tell myself.  He "claims" he doesn't sleep at nights. if that's true how is he getting by? Any normal person would not be able to go days with that little sleep.

Am I a horrible person for not being able to just let it go and realize that he IS different now?

Does that make up for it?

As a parent, I admit, I am guilty. Guilty of putting things off with my kids, so I can get stuff done. We all do this. And we all do this for different reasons. It's human.

Madison really wanted to buy this Yahtzee game, because she loved it when she played it at school. After about 3 times of telling her no, because we didn't have the money, or because she just got a bunch of new stuff at Christmas, I gave in. I told her I would play it with her.  That was 3 months ago.

I keep mentioning how we she begged for this game and she never plays, where she replies  "I can't play that game alone" - she's right.  So I tell her we will play later, when I am done cleaning up.
The day gets away from us, and she asks "Yahtzee mom?" " UGH, we forgot and its too late now. Bed is in 10 minutes. Remind me tomorrow."
This pattern happens many time over the next few weeks. Its always too late, or cleaning needs to be done, or errands need to be run, or I'm tired.  Every time she asks, the timing just isn't good. Or is it??

When the thought came yesterday of taking Madison to dance, alone, and having dinner with her, alone, I thought "This is great. This is what she needs."  We had nice conversation. I could see she was at ease and not tense. I could tell she had excitement because she could just keep talking and   wasn't being cut off.

I got a glimpse of that Yahtzee game when we got home, and thought about how she really did just need some time without her sisters. More then just a ride to dance. I thought about our dinner  then i thought "Does that make up for it?"

I WILL make time for Yahtzee tonight. I need to.