Monday, January 19, 2015

The Story of Us

Hey all!
 I have been on a bit of a writers block lately. I think its just because there isn't much going on in our house lately, due to it being winter and all - I apologize. And each time I make a recipe, I forget to take pics and to me, recipes are pointless without pictures.

But, I recently do an MS update on my husband Brian, so i don't really mention too much. This leads me to this blocg subject...The Story of us.

My husband Brian and I met in Feb. 1997, under some not so nice circumstances. My cousins son had passed away of SIDS, and my mom rushed over to my families house to help console and do what needed to be done. In the meantime, my uncle and cousin bother worked at Jiffy Lube, and a friend of theirs, was taking over and working extra hour for them, to ensure they could be with the family. That guy was Brian.

Brian was friends with my aunt and uncle, and hung out with them a few times a week. And my aunt also had other family memebers living there as well, so there were always people coming and going.

With the few visitations during funeral planning, I realized how much I missed hanging out with my cousins, who were closer to my age. So, since I was not working at the time, and had my own car, I began to hang out over there on a daily basis. I was not aware, but Brian was watching me from afar.
now at this time, I was 19 and he was 30. Therefore, i was in no way looking at him like that. I was just there for the fun and laughs, with my oldest BFF's.

One day, my cousin came home from work and was telling me how I was the topic of converstaion at work, because Brian liked me. I fluffed it off as "guy talk" and let it go. But my cousin kept bringing this up to me, then my uncle verified it,  and told me how since I started coming around, Brian was there a lot more as well.

I thought it was cool that an older guy thought I was cute...but kinda creepy at the same time. He was nothing like I had been falling for in the past. But I allowed the flirtations in. Once night me and my cousin went to his place to watch a movie. Not long after the movie started, she fell asleep and we went outside to talk. We talked for almost 3 hrs about everything and anything. I soon realized that he was not some older perv, he was just a guy looking to have a girlfriend or friend who had a good head on their shoulders and had real goals in life.He was already married and realized what he did and didn't want now, and our paths were parallel, which made us click.

After a few weeks of casually hanging out in groups, he finally decided to kiss me good night. And it didn't freak me out. I allowed all to carry on as is, and see what happened.

We did hit some bumbs in the road, early on in our relationship, but we found that we worked through them well together. We did not attack each other over our stresses. It oddly brouhgt us closer.

Over the next couple years, we did our thing as a dating couple. We made the final decision to get an apartment together. So brian moved into my bedroom at my parents apartment for a few months, while we both saved money for our first place.

We lived together for about 2 yrs. and even got engaged. But not long after that, I started thinking that our life paths were not as in line as I thought. he seems to want to party like a 20 yrs old and I was the 20yr old who wanted to grow up. We ended up splitting, and I moved into my own place for a while. We tried to keep our relationship casual, but that didn't last long, before we just stopped talking.

About 6 months later, I had to call him for something mail related. He sounded happy to hear from me and wanted to see me.  We fell right into the pattern again, and realized we DID want to be together. He then moved back in with me, into my place. About the same time, he deicded to take a trip to NE, where he grew up. He hasn't spoken to his family in almost 5 yrs. While on this trip, he stopped home. He proceeded to introduce me as his fiance. OH REALLY??

Let the wedding planning begin. And it was ON this time! I made sure he was sure. Things went very well through the wedding planning, no stresses.

Immediately, we started trying to have a baby. Three months later, we found we were expecting. So it was time to move. We only moved down the street and to another apartment, but a 2BR this time.

Oct. 2003, Madison was born. She was perfect. She was the best baby.

And SHE was everything to my new husband. After almost 2 yrs of ups & downs, we ended up being defeated and went to counseling. While during this stretch, we had a few more life changes we had to deal with together. Things which again, brought us together and made us stronger.

His father's health was failing, and in the beginning of 2006 his father passed away. I stood right by my husband side, as his father took his last breath. While on this trip though...I forgot to pack one very important thing.  About 2 weeks later, I had suspicions and took a pregnancy test.......positive.
The news was unsettling to us both. We were going through marriage counseling, we weren't planning on this. We don't want to have a baby to fix things.  Unfortunately, it was hard to be exicted at the time.

7 weeks later, we went for our first ultrasound.....TWINS! Really???  OMG....NOOOO.....
For some reason, this excited Brian more. I on the other hand, was freaking out. But yet again...we came together and dealt with it together -- as team.  Dec.2006, Ava & Isabel were born. Again, 2 perfect little babies.

From this point forward, it was all about the our girls.

For the next 7 yrs, we lived our lives -- taking kids to school, running errands, bought a house, got new jobs -- life!  However, there were still a lot of ups & downs. it got to the point, where I felt like I was always down and didn't know what my purpose was anymore.

In Nov. 2012 - Brian went for a check up, because his health was failing. He was tired all the time and getting migraines constantly. It was just making him miserable. He was diagnosed with high blood pressure. We got it under control and all was fine.

In Nov. 2013 -- Brian lost vision in his one eye at work, for a brief moment, and his blood pressure meds seems to not be working too well. His doctor ordered him to the ER. His bp at this point was at about 200. They did all kinds of testing and couldn't find a casue, but got it under control. While there he has an MRI done, and was told "There is a lesion on your frontal lobe. Looks like it might be MS, but we can't dianose that yet. Control your bp for 6 mos. and have a new MRI done."  Really???  They just told him he might have a serious life long condition, but they can't be for sure for 6 mos.???  WTH?????? So, over the fall and winter of 2013, we came together as a family - just the 5 of us.  No outside opinions. Just enjoying OUR family unit. Life was good.

Feb. 2014, we went to the Auto Show. Now over the past few month he was complaining of pain but not really pain, in his knee. I figured, he would need knee surgry soon. But when he took Advil, he was fine. After the auto show, we were walking through the city, back to the car, and he was having to stop every 20 feet or so to rest. About half way to the car, he just collapsed in the middle of the parking lot. His leg just gave out on him. But no pain.we got the car and just went home. Oddly, this didn't happened again.

May 2014 - it was time to see a nuerologist and get the MRI re-done. By now...he is limping 100% of the time and barely sleeping. And with the research he has done, he is convinced he DOES have MS. Sure enough...he now has lesions all up and down his spine - its multiple sclerosis. He was also in the middle of his first "flare up". He needed to start meds right away and ended up on steroid for 3 days. At this point, I knew that I needed to be there for my husband. Any other bull shit that was making me think otherwise, just went out the window. That tells me that this is where I need to be and he needs me.  And I'll be damned if I am not there for him.

It's been 7 months now. I have watched this man who used to work so hard, and constantly play with his kids...turn into a man who now can't run errands alone, has had to demote himself and cut back his hours at a job he loves, and have to rely on other people way more then he wants to. I watch this man painfully inject himself 3 times a week, to keep his illness from getting worse...although...its still getting worse slowly.

I look back at the last 18 yrs and all we have been through together, and am damn proud to say we have come a long way, and are still together. I'm not going anywhere. We are a team and WE can do this!