Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The 5 Year Rollercoaster

I don't know what to do anymore.

This is not MY fault.

Something is not right.
Conflicted. 
JUST TELL ME!
Whatever, push it aside.
Things are great. 
New start.
No drama. 
But wait, here we go again.

Disappointment.
JUST TELL ME!

Supporting.
Time for a new leaf?
Awesome!
Maybe not.
This is not acceptable.
This is not fair.
Confusion.

But something seems wrong. 

Everything aside. 

Yes, an answer.

Relief.

I DO care.
But still, there is no excuse.
Or is there?
JUST TELL ME!
Resentment.
Sudden Fear.

Everything else aside.
Supporting.
No more outsiders, its just us.
Family bond.
Really?? I just can't.

Tired.
Mentally.
Worry.
Fear.
Guilt....this isn't about me.
Need to be the rock.

Don't know if I can be the rock.

Guilt. Worry. Fear. Guilt. Worry. Fear.
World upside down?

NO it won't.
Relief.
Everything makes sense now.
Moving forward.
Am I wrong for the way I feel?
How do I feel??
Guilt....this isn't about me.
This is what I promised from the beginning.
I am HERE.