Thursday, June 2, 2016

Why do women have to have a BFF?

Forewarning:  I know that some of you will read this and just think that I am a miserable bitch and have no real friends. However, that is not the case. I have always felt like this. And yes, maybe some instances from my teen years have caused me feeling this way, but I feel its just a logical way to see this.

WHY do women feel the need to call each other BFF?? I just don't get it. Does it validate your feelings that you have a close friend out there that you can go to anytime you need a shoulder to lean on?

I have only a handful of friends. And this is my choice. I don't needs tons of people in and out of my life. Its bad enough, my close friends are sometimes in and out of my life. But that is called LIFE!!! People grow up, and move on. The more you realize this, the less you will feel like you've been "screwed over by who you thought was your best friend".

Think about it. How many "best friends" have you had in your lifetime? How many of them are no longer in your adult life? The term BFF should be left in high school (sorry not sorry).

A real friend is not categorized by someone who is up your ass daily.
A real friend is not someone who offers you money or is always trying to do things for you.
A real friend is not always the person in all those selfies you take together. 

A real friend will be there if you call them crying and say they really just want to talk.
A real friend will be there to help you move, when you finally realize that guy she warned you about really is a loser.
A real friend will help you pick up the pieces, if you have fallen apart.

A real friend will be that bitch who told you the TRUTH, whether you like it or not.

I have seen many friendships fade, and have realized one thing. There is usually one party who EXPECTS things to be a certain way, and when they don't pan out like that, they blame the other party. This is not fair. Don't expect a person to be a certain way towards you. If you truly love them, you will appreciate what they can offer, WHEN and HOW they offer it.

As a friend, if you need to vent to me, call me & I'll be there to listen. But I am not a mind reader.
As a friend, if you can't catch up and need a boost or help, call me & I'll be there. But I am not a mind reader.
As a friend, if you feel the need to reveal a deep secret, call me & I'll help you work through it and keep it to myself. But I am not a mind reader.

I strongly feel that calling someone a BFF is validation that you feel loved. I don't need that validation from anyone outside of my own family. What my husband and kids think of me, is all that matters, and all that should matter.

In conclusion, I don't have any BFFs and I don't want any. All I want is my circle of friends who I know I can rely on when I call on them. If I don't call on them, I don't expect anything from them in return. The only thing I do expect, is respect.

So can we please just stop with the BFF title and just call them our TRUE FRIENDS?!