Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Why I sometimes envy single moms

The struggle is real on BOTH sides of the fence, but you never hear someone say "Ugh, I'm a married mom, my life is so hard."  But damn it, just because you are married and have your children's father helping you doesn't mean life is always roses & easy. And for that, I will admit that I sometimes envy single mothers.

I have friends who are and have been single mothers and I see the struggles they go through. And in most situations I am glad I am not. But married moms go through struggles of their own as well.

Married:
When you try to teach your children rules and keep them on time schedules, you always have someone behind you who is willing to ruin all your effort and decide to take the kids to the park and give them ice cream, while you are home cooking dinner. HELLO?
Single:
You say no park & ice cream until after dinner, and that's it.

Married: 
You say No to something, they go running to the other parent.
Single:
You say NO, and that's the end of it. There is nowhere else to run.

Married:
You stick to financial rules, and say no to frequent stops at coffee shops and such because you can't really afford it, and then you realize that just because you said no, that didn't real mean no and he stopped for breakfast on his way to work (although the fridge is full of new groceries & a full pot of coffee is on)
Single:
You can't afford it, you don't buy it. End of story.

Married:
the other parent sometimes feels they can go up and down with their participation in your day to day life. For instance, my husband didn't want to get out of bed for the last 2 yrs in the morning (due to working late nights), so I took all the girls to school myself everyday, and didn't bother waking him. Now, he wants to help and let me sleep in...but its only on the days he feels like getting up. In the meantime, my alarm is set to go off every single day at the same time, and my kids know OUR routine, and we do it with minimal arguments and we are like our own little army. The kids don't like the inconsistency in this pattern either. But if I ask him to not help, he gets mad. So instead I lay in bed, trying to sleep, while listening to what is going on in case I need to intervene.
Single:  
No interruptions in daily routines.

Married:
You have the kids all the time. Once in a while you might get a sitter, if you beg someone, but typically, its assumed you have kids with you alllll the time.
Single:
You get regularly scheduled breaks to do whatever you want & regain your sanity.


I know this may sound like I am whining, and I should be grateful...which I am. But...my point is that, there ARE times that even married moms, envy single moms.  There is not my life is harder because its just me. Everyone's lives have easy and hard points to them. Its not a competition, its life!!!!