Sunday, July 20, 2014

Who is really the boss here???

Today I had one of those mom moments that I really wanted to give in on, but I couldn't and I WOULDN'T!!

We were at our cousins house, as we usually are a couple times a week. The kids were all on the trampoline, and they started complaining about each other. I told them to try to work it out themselves, because the whining and complaining about each other is not fair to them or us (the parents). I advised MY children that the next time they whined about an issue, they were done with the trampoline for the rest of the visit.

Didn't take long and someone started whining. So my 2 were DONE for the rest of the night. There was a tear or 2 but I made them move on and play something else.  They continued to ask a few times, but I simply told them no. I tried to not go into the whole long shebang about how we got to this point, in the first place, as they already know that answer.   My hopes are that this helps them figure out how to work things out themselves next time, and take turns.

There is nothing more I can't stand then whining over stupid shit.  And when my kids cry about things, I let them get their feelings out, but then  I make them stop. Crying does not need to go on and on. I want my kids to learn that I am not always going to give in just because they cry a lot and bug the crap out of me. I feel like that will only turn them into bigger brats as they get older.

Now trying to do this type of parenting, sometimes makes me feel like a big ole meany head. I sit there an think to myself a lot "is there REALLY a reason I am saying NO?"  Sometimes it may not be so obvious, but my reasoning is that its the principal behind it. I am the parent. Not a middle man sent here to do their negotiating for them. What I say goes. Even if its for my own selfish reasons.

I don't understand why us parents make play dates for children, spend a couple hours, then the KIDS try to convince us to have the others come home with us, or go over their house, or spend the rest of the day with them? Why can't we just go out sometimes, enjoy each other for a few hours, and come home to finish our daily life, whatever that may be?  NO, if I say we are going to the park then back home, that is what we are doing.

Now that I have said that all, I will admit I fall victim to the guilt children put upon us, and I give in. And every single time, once I get home that night, I regret it. Then I end up taking it out on the children a little, when in all actuality, its not really their fault....its my own for not standing up to my kids. I let THEM rule me.

Well I am making this my moment of clarity. I WILL stand my ground and not allow myself to be guilted into letting my kids get their way. I am the queen of NO in the stores, why can't I be the queen of NO in this situation. Its not like I am not letting them have fun at all, I just want to set limits...I have a life too damn it.

(Now that you are all done laughing at me, stay tuned to see how this REALLY turns out. Ha Ha)