Thursday, May 8, 2014

Everyone has different parenting styles...and its OK!!!!

I have been through 10 1/2 yrs of parenting so far and I am no where near a parenting pro.
Heck...NO ONE IS!  Even those who blog about it or teach it, are still just offering up suggestions and ideas. Parenting is not a trade skill. Its a self taught and will NEVER be perfected. This is because every child is different. Every parents own thinking is different.And every family dynamic is different.

I have read stories and been in conversations about parenting, from both parents and non-parents. I have had "rules" thrown at me and I have even thrown out some of my own "this is how it should be" statements. I have seen parents take a lighter approach and I have seen parents take a stricter approach. Myself, I'd like to think I am in the middle somewhere.

Also, children are going to act differently around others, depending on who they are around or where they are. Therefore, the parenting rules tend to need a little altering from time to time. Just because you see a parent ignore a temper fit in a store, doesn't mean they always let children get away with that at home.I know a lot of you are thinking right now "well rules should be the same no matter where you are". No, not really. they don't HAVE to be. And that is my point.

I try to respect others parenting methods   No need to point fingers, I know I am guilty of trying to enforce MY rules on others, but again....its not me saying others are doing it wrong, just suggesting other ideas and trying to open others minds that there are other options they can try. I am always open to suggestions from other parents,  whether I take them or not.  Suggestions are not the way it HAS to be. I don't take offense to it.  I HAVE tried many many many many suggestions that people have given me and tried other ways of parenting, and some of the ideas just don't work....with MY kids. That doesn't mean they don't work...they just don't work with my kids. In no way do I think my way of parenting is the best either. I see others parenting rules and ways all the time that I wish I could enforce, but its not how things work in our house. My kids are no that persons kids.

So when I see debates about bed times, and time outs, and rules...I think "Why is either way better then the other?"  I remember growing up, there were little rules my parents gave me that I just really always thought "WHY do I need to do this??"  And those rules, are different in our house now, for the reason that I am now the parent and I am the boss. It didn't make sense to me as a child, I am not going to enforce it on my own children. For this same reason, if I do give my children an instruction and they ask me "why", I actually stop and think "yeah why???".  I have actually stopped in my tracks and said to my kids "you're right, there is no real need for that. Whatever." 

Point is, raising kids is hard. You are constantly trying to balance what is right and what is wrong for you you, kthe children and society. There is no right or wrong way to raise a child.  Everyone has different parenting styles...and its OK!!!!  The best we can do is try to raise good citizens, who strive to take the right route of life, and not the wrong one.