The struggle of sibling fights

When you have multiple children, you know this struggle all to well. And if you have all girls like I do.......

My mind has been consumed lately with how to deal with this. I have 3 strong personalities in this house, and 2 of them are twins, who sometimes choose to gang up on the pre-teen - the pre-teen who can't explain anything she is going through right now.

For most of it, we notice that the 11yr old instigates things. She will push someone out of her way as she walks by for NO reason at all, or yell at them to stop doing something that is not affecting her at all.  Everything her sisters do annoy her or "embarrass" her.

And then the little devil child comes out of the youngest and she attacks. She will NOT be pushed around and taken advantage of and she will let you know. But then she doesn't know when to stop and tends to takes things too far. UGH

Lastly is the middle child. She is sweet, and willing to help at the drop of a hat. But she has minimal feelings. She will throw out a stone and not care about your reaction and just go about her day.

I have realized that it takes a lot of attention on my part, to be able to properly punish the correct child. For instance, I could be in the bathroom when it all starts downstairs, by the time I get down there, its a free for all, so I punish them ALL.   But then I don't keep the punishment last b/c its not fair to the ones who really ARE innocent. How do I handle this when I have no clue who did what to whom when and why??? AAAHHHHH

I know the oldest can be too much, like ALL the time, so she gets in trouble the most. But once she is done being punished, she does it again.

Lately, its been 2 out of the 3 at each other, so I punished them both last night and sent them to their room. What did they do? They decided to play together when I wasn't paying attention. REALLY????????

I know most people who multiple children like to think they have it all under control, well...we don't. We are just as clueless as new moms sometimes. Don't fool yourself. It's all trial and error.
And a little drink once in a while helps too ;)